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3am

So its 3:50am. I can't sleep again. Seems to be a recurring pattern.

3:51a. I am always giving advice to others and hoping that what I say is right. It seems like the right fit for that person and they leave the conversation feeling better. If they don't feel better then I continue to feed them the advice I feel is right for them. Right for their pattern. I wake up each day not wanting to deal with my own issues but instead desperately seeking the people that need me. I think that's my purpose in this life. Helping others. I want to help others it makes me feel like maybe I'm not wasting my life.

I've been spending a lot of time with a friend that I never thought would be my friend. He says to me what my boyfriend doesn't. I think that's scary, intriguing and altogether thoughtful. He's a real gentlemen. I didn't know men of that kind still existed. He opens doors, lights my cigarettes, holds the umbrella...walks closest to the street. It's really surprising to have someone care about me like that. I'm always the one putting myself in those positions for others. It's a nice change. I can't get comfortable in my newfound position. It'll change I think. Or a new friend will come along for him. I don't want to be a burden.

3:58a. That feeling of wanting to be invisible has come back. Haven't felt this way in a long time but it makes me wish I could just escape and become the invisible woman. That would be a nice change.

Lie to me

I just wish someone would lie to me one day. I want someone to tell me that I'm the most beautiful person they have ever met and that I am insanely attractive and sexy. Like that will ever happen...heh... I just wish I could believe it if they said it because I know I wouldn't. But it would be nice if someone would just lie to me someday. Or acknowledge me the way they do other gorgeous women. "Oh my GOD you're gorgeous!" or "OMG how sexy!" something like that. I dunno. Maybe a lie hurts less than the truth. I'm sick of hearing the truth.

When you wake up one morning...

...and realize you have no friends, life almost seems to come to a screeching halt. I have friends that I've met through TarValon.net, but they aren't close by or I don't have enough money to go drive an hour or more away to see them, or they're too busy with their real life and I don't want to intrude. But I called a girl last night, someone I used to consider my best friend and no one could ever change that, and I'm crying and I feel like I just wish that I'd wrap my car around a tree and just die...she couldn't give me 10 minutes of her time. I'm probably selfish for wanting that, but when she felt awful and needed me, I woke up early one morning a 4am when she called and talked to her until 7am and made sure she was ok and went to her house the next day to bring her some breakfast. She just...I mean I guess I will just have to take the hint that she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. That's the only thing I can think of. I suppose it's ok. We haven't hung out since Junior year in high school and I'm a college sophomore now so things change, people change. I just wish I had good enough friends that would answer any time of night and just listen to me bitch when I feel that terrible. Then again, I just wish I had friends in my area.

Hopefully a step forward

After going to the doctor yesterday and being prescribed Celex for my depression, I can say that I'm happy about the fact that this might help me some. I'm still insanely depressed and can't focus on anything but my depression, no matter how hard I try. Stupid little things get in the way that remind me of what I was depressed about and it throws me off big time. I want to say that I need some alone, "me" time, but I know that it will just make me recede again. And the stupid medicine makes me get sick to my stomach a lot. Which completely and totally majorly sucks as I HATE getting sick. Bleh. It'll all change in about a month. I'll be happier..or more balanced out.

How ridiculous..

Stupid guy logs on to MSN and I get all excited. Then for the next.........3 hours of conversation its about his ex girlfriend and how he makes out with her and how they cuddle and crap. OMG can you not see that I like you. >< I just need to stop talking to him. It's always going to be his ex girlfriend no matter what I say/do. Always gonna be about her. We have real conversation for 5 seconds and the next million conversations are he and his ex, or some new girl that only wants sex from him. Whatever. Nothings going to change.

Invisible

I want to be invisible
To be unseen,
No one to hear me
Or think of me.
Invisibility.
Put me behind a mirror
to watch
but not be seen.
Invisibility.
Make me shorter,
quieter,
smaller...
so I can be invisible.
Invisibility.
Don't let me be seen,
just let them forget
that I was ever here.
Invisibility.
Shield me from
the day to day
mediocrity of our
fucked up society.
Invisibility.
It's what I want.
I want to be unseen.
Make me the fly on the wall.
Put me behind the mirror.
Invisibility.

The Boy

***Song I just wrote but I've been working on for a while now. I just finished it today and I think it's kinda okay...I don't have a harmony for it, but I'm collaborating with a friend on that part. I'll let him do with it as he likes.***

 

The boy who chain smoked cigarettes

Plays through my head like a dream

 

He’s not okay, he’s not alright

Behind his broken lashes

Last night’s actions burn in his head

Like a bad dream

 

It’s okay you’re alright

We’ll hold you tight

Show the world your face

Open up your heart

 

He changes paces, says his graces

We forgive him for his flaws

He can’t help but

Break their stupid laws

 

It’s okay you’re alright

Cause I’m holding you tight

Let the sun dry your face

Open up your heart

 

We’re all welcoming you

To our world

Open up your heart

We’re all welcoming you

To our world

 

His cigarette on the ash tray

Burning away

Each shining day…

Each shining day

 

Not today

We will fight

We will all hold you tight

You need to smile

And let us in today

 

Humming quietly he makes his peace

With the past’s fast pace

Well at least

Now He lets us see his face

 

It’s okay you’re alright

Cause we’re holding you tight

Let the sun dry your face

Open up your heart

 

The boy who chain smoked cigarettes

Broke down his wall and let us in

 

Everything is alright

Everyday isn’t always bright

But I think He’s going to be just fine


Amamizu: Chapter Fourteen

            Months passed by, I had been planning the wedding for quite a while and finally, the big day was approaching. It was the day before the wedding and he and I had finally settled for a small gathering, in the clearing behind my house. Neither of us had enough money to actually make a difference. I was upstairs, standing in front of my floor length mirror in my sitting room. I was staring into the mirror but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t seeing, I was staring off into space as my mind wandered through the endless depths of worry, happiness, nervousness and above all, my love for Shuuya. I can’t stand not being able to see him right now. Why’d they make a stupid rule that the bride and groom can’t see each other until the stupid ceremony? I need him right now. I couldn’t help but feel nervous and excited all at once. Oh god, I feel sick. I rushed into my bathroom and turned on the cold water in the sink and hung my head under it, completely forgetting that my hair and make up were already fixed and I was drenching the collar of my shiro-maku. The red silk clung to my neck and my simple white-gold necklace slipped forward between my breasts. It was a pendant of a stephanotis flower that Nic-chan gave to me before the wedding. As always, right as I thought of her, she hurried into the room and pulled me from underneath the faucet.

 

“Good God! What on Earth are you doing, you fool?” Nicola pulled me from under the faucet. “Were you trying to kill yourself? ‘Cuz if you’re trying to do that, you have to ingest the water you idiot, not stick your head under it.”

 

I laughed slightly. “No, Nic-san, I wasn’t trying to kill myself. It’s just really, really hot in here. It has got to be like…a billion degrees in this room.”

 

“Well, it’s almost time for you to walk down the aisle and your hair is ruined and your make-up is running down your face and your dress…oh God. What’s wrong with you?”

 

“I’m…I don’t know. I guess…I’m just nervous I guess. It Shuuya the right guy? I mean…it seems so soon.”

 

“Both of you have been crazy for each other for forever. Just relax and breathe. By the way, it’s about 60 degrees in here. It definitely is not hot.”

 

            I started removing my obi-jime, then my obi-age, then my maru obi and Nicola chan removed my hand from my kimono.

 

“What are you doing now?”

 

“I have got to cool down Nic-san. I can’t wear this bulky thing. 

Amamizu: Chapter Thirteen

When we arrived home, Shuuya found the sword wrapped in silk, sitting in a wooden box on the front porch. I smiled, got the bag out from under the seat and kissed Shuuya on my way into the house. He pulled me back gently, picked me up and kissed me back. I couldn't help but giggle.

 

"Do you like it koibito?" I asked.

 

"Of course I like it Yuri! Why wouldn't I? It's...amazing. Why'd you...how'd you...wow? Thank you enjeru." He spun around with me in his arms still.

 

"You know what? I can't wait anymore enjeru." Shuuya said, smiling from ear-to-ear.

 

"Wait...for what Shuuya?" I asked quietly.

 

"You'll see. Now, go get dressed up really nice. We're going out for dinner." He said, sweating slightly. I frowned, in thought as he set me down carefully.

 

"Dress up? Like...really nice in an evening gown n'make-up n'stuff?"

 

"Yep." Shuuya replied, taking his sword upstairs. "Try to hurry please enjeru. I'll be ready to go in a few minutes."

 

I followed Shuuya upstairs slowly, wondering what we could be doing. About that time, Nicola called.

 

"Hello?" I said into the receiver.

 

"Yea, hey Yuri. Whatcha up to?" Nicola asked.

 

 

"Not much. Shuuya is taking me out somewhere fancy. He told me to get dressed up and ready as fast as I can."

 

"Oh. Well, why'd he say that Yuri-chan?"

 

"I have no idea." I said bluntly.

 

"Oh. Well, I was just calling to say hey."

 

"M'kay." I replied, smiling.

 

"Alrighty then, I'll call you later Yuri, bye...Oh! And tell me where you two go. "

 

I laughed. "Okay Nicola-chan. I'll call ya back tomorrow."

 

"Okie dokie." She said.

"Love ya, Yuri, bye." she added.

 

"Love ya too, Nic-san." I said and we both hung up.

 

 

I walked upstairs hurriedly and looked through my closet quickly, pulling out a long, strapless light blue dress. I pulled my clothes off and hcanged bras, putting on the dress. I picked out a good pair of heels and carried them with me to the bathroom. Shuuya was in the sitting room getting dressed as well.

 

"You look...wow enjeru. You should wear that more often." I giggled.

 

"We normally don't go out places that require clothes like this koibito."

 

"...Oh yea." he said, blushing slightly.

 

 

I got a little box of make-up out and applied eyeshadow and blush lightly with a little eyeliner. I put a light pink cream kind of lipstick on and put my hair up with a silver pin. As I walked out, Shuuya walked in to put cologne on and straighten his hair.

 

I sat down on the bed, putting my shoes on and then grabbed a white shoulder wrap out of the closet, along with a matching bag.

 

"So, where are we going koibito?"

 

"You'll see enjeru. It's a surprise, and I know you'll love it."

 

"Oh come on. Now I really want to know. Please tell me Shuuya, my koibito?" He shook his head and I sighed, going downstairs.

 

"I'll be in the living room."

 

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Shuuya scrambled around the bedroom; searching for the ring he bought for Yuri while in Asin earlier that day.

 

"I think she'll like it." he whispered to himself. "I hope so anyway."

 

Shuuya then sprayed on a little cologne, brushed his hair back and put on his coat. He was wearing a black pinstripe tux, with a red shirt and vest underneath. His shoes were freshly polished and buffed. "Now, where are the keys? Gah! Where'd she put them? Crap! I didn't get roses. I'm so unprepared. I hope she says yes..." Shuuya spoke to himself. He found the keys, put the little velvet box with the ring in his pocket, and walked downstairs trying to meditate. Yuri saw him and smiled, rising gracefully from the couch. Shuuya thought to himself, "Wow. Yuri is beautiful. She's...wow. I love her so much. I hope she says yes. God, but she's so amazingly gorgeous. She put on make up...where is it? I don't see it. Must be a chick thing."

 

"Shuuya! Koibito! Have you heard me?" Yuri said quietly.

 

"Oh. I'm sorry enjeru. I was lost in thought." Yuri smiled.

 

"She has an amazing smile." Shuuya thought, and then he shook his head. "Let's go." Shuuya beamed and held his arm out for Yuri.

 

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"Well, that was odd." I thought to myself. "He didn't even hear me. Oh well. That's alright. It doesn't happen often." I looped my arm through Shuuya's and followed his lead.

 

"Will you tell me where we're going now koibito?" I asked, smiling up at him.

 

"Nope. Not yet Yuri, my enjeru." Shuuya smiled back down at me.

 

"Okay." We walked out to my car and Shuuya opened the car door for me. I got in slowly and fixed my dress when he closed the door. When Shuuya was in, we left for the mystery location.

 

"Wanna listen to music koibito?" I asked.

 

"I want whatever you want enjeru." he smiled and held my hand rubbing the back of it gently with his thumb. His palm was kinda sweaty, but I didn't mind it.

 

"Okay. Well then let's just talk." I smiled and squeezed Shuuya's hand delicately.

 

“I wish you’d tell me where we’re going.” I said, and looked out the window. “I don’t want to be over dressed or under dressed.”

 

“You’re perfect enjeru. Absolutely perfect.”

 

There were many trees where we were and the moon was shining brightly into the window of the car. In the not-so-distant view, mountains stood majestically, casting their shadow on the trees and ground. We were heading up a mountain too; the winding road moved my vision continually to a different, yet familiar horizon.

 

“Shuuya, where are we doing?” he smiled and turned onto a side road that was well-lit by lantern poles and a brick wall lining the road.

 

“Are you sure we’re dressed properly koibito?” I asked again.

 

“Shh.” He said, smiling and now grinning, “You’re gorgeous enjeru. Don’t worry.” I sighed and straightened myself up again, smoothing my dress out.

 

We slowly approached a little restaurant on the side of the mountain that overlooked the valley below. The sign read “Rivera Valley Restaurant since 1998”. This little place had been around for a long time.

 

“Shuuya, we came all the way up here to eat?” I was wondering as to why we were really there.

 

“Don’t worry Yuri; just let me take care of this. Just relax honey.” Shuuya parked beside the restaurant and got out before I did. He came around and opened my door, then held out his hand to help me out of the car.

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Yuri took my hand as I helped her out of the car. Her skin was soft and warm. She stood slowly, smiling; it was the prettiest smile I had ever seen.

 

“Shuuya, are you okay my koibito?” she asked quietly.

 

“Yea, I’m okay.” I answered. “Why?”

 

“You just look kinda pale is all?” She said, almost a whisper.

 

I smiled widely to let her know I was really okay. Yuri held onto my arm with both of hers after adjusting her shoulder scarf thingy. Oh man. Her breasts are around my arm. No! Don’t think about that. Stop. Come on, come on. Gotta keep my thoughts clean. Gotta stay focused.

 

----------------------------------

 

Shuuya led me up to the restaurant’s front door. It was kind of cold, but I held close to his arm. I started getting ideas as to what we were doing. I looked up at him and he was sweating slightly.

 

As we approached the door, Shuuya opened it and bowed as I walked through. I giggled and kissed his cheek, straightening him up again, holding his arm as I now led him through to the man seating people. Shuuya told him we had a reservation under “Ankoku”. The small man, well small in comparison to my love, led us to our table. The restaurant was beautiful. It was painted gold and red. There were long panels of silk hanging on the walls and many statues and paintings embellished the entire restaurant. The ceilings were ornately carved wood and inlaid with gold. Shuuya laughed and poked me in the side gently and whispered, “Enjeru, we’re at the table. Sit down angel.” I blinked and sat down as Shuuya pushed my chair in under the table. He sat down across from me, smiling and took my hand from across the table, rubbing the back of it gently. I smiled, my eyes gleaming and a chill running through my body. It wasn’t a bad feeling at all. I had butterflies going through my entire body.

 

We ordered our meals and a glass of plum wine for me and some sake for Shuuya. He took a sip, and then set the cup down gently. I too took a sip of wine and didn’t have a chance to put my glass down completely before Shuuya started speaking to me. “Enjeru, Yuri, my love. My very dearest love…I have been meaning to ask something for a long time…I want…will…could we…” The server walked up and placed our plates on the table. I titled my head to the side, frowning slightly.

 

“What koibito?” I asked him quietly. He shook his head, sighing deeply. Nothing but silence for a few minutes. I started to worry about him so I leaned across the table and took his hand in mine again, rubbing the back of his gently. Shuuya sighed again and looked at me. His voice sounded like he was choked up. He began to speak again, his voice crystal clear.

 

“Yuri, you are the dearest, most important, most caring and loving woman. You have fun and aren’t afraid to embarrass yourself. You make me laugh. You are the first person I see every morning. You’re so beautiful.” Shuuya rushed the last sentence, quietly.

 

“Shuuya, I…I don’t know what to say honey. I…I love you so much. I…”

 

“I hope you find words for what I’m about to say enjeru.” Shuuya stood up and got down on one knee in front of me, holding my left hand in his. I gasped, breathing shakily and put my other hand to my mouth, tearing up already. My thoughts were scattered and my heart was racing. I could feel my pulse throughout my entire body and I was shaking with adrenaline.

 

“Will you, Yumemiru Hito Kagayakashii be my wife? Will you marry me Yuri, my enjeru, and my darling angel?” Shuuya said each word slowly and clearly.

 

I began crying as soon as Shuuya said marry. I was so happy I completely forgot to answer. He stood up and cradled my head against his chest.

 

“God Yuri, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. It’s too early to ask. I’m sorry.”

 

I pulled back, and he wiped my cheeks, cleaning away the tears.

 

“I love you Shuuya. I will marry you. I’m forever yours.” He immediately sank back down to his knee, pulling the tiny velvet box out of his pocket and opened it quickly. The ring was gorgeous and was woven white gold with a diamond between two emeralds.

 

“Enjeru, this represents our past, present and future. You loved me then, you love me now and I hoe you’ll love me in the future.” He took my hand and slipped the ring on my ring finger. I leaned down, kissing Shuuya passionately.

 

“I love you. I will love you forever and longer. I loved you then. You’ll always be the man I love.” I kissed him again and held his head against my stomach, rubbing his head and neck and back. He kissed me softly, and he stood up, kissed me again and we stood there for a few minutes, lingering in the kiss.

 

 

 

Amamizu: Chapter Twelve

When the cab stopped by our home to drop me of, Shuuya looked at me and made a motion that he would be home soon. It took me a second to realize what he meant exactly, but at least I understood. I nodded and walked into the house as the cab sped off. Sighing, I went into the kitchen and filled a plate with food. All of that medicine and running around made my stomach growl and my appetite was that of a growing boy's. I ate slowly, and turned on a small TV in the kitchen. The news was on. And, like always...actually...since I can remember the news report has hardly ever given any good reports on weather, Earth/Mars/Space/sports or even local events in Asin and the surrounding cities. But plenty of positive and happy events take place. For example: the spring festival of blossoms, the summer festival of Luck, the fall and winter festivals of the Harvest Moon, Alraa-minure, and the smaller family traditions (for those with different religious beliefs or family traditions, the government sets aside a one and a half week period to let all government and local employees get paid while out of work). Shuuya and I had not decided what we were going to do during that week and a half.

 

Shuuya walked in about an hour later and he looked weary, his face grim...almost like an old soldier, weathered from battle and damn tired of it. I walked to him and wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his lips softly. He smiled slightly, I could tell he forced part of the joy I saw in his eyes, and then he kissed my lips back passionately and hard. I smiled and a tear rolled down his cheek. That's what frightened me most. Shuuya. Crying. Even if only one tear, there was something bothering him deeply. I couldn't stand to see him cry. It tore at my heart. I wiped the tear away and kissed his cheek.

 

"What's wrong my koibito? Are you alright? Did I do something?" I whispered, trying to comfort him.

 

He looked down at the floor and mumbled under his breath, "They could've hurt you Yuri. They almost did enjeru. They almost kill..." I put my hand on his lips delicately.

 

"But I'm okay now koibito. I'm okay. I'm safe in your arms. They won't get me. You stopped them Shuuya." I said in a more steady tone of voice. He took a step back, but I moved toward him quickly, wrapping my arms around him again tightly. Now he looked shocked and then he engulfed me in his arms and kissed my forehead again.

 

"You don't have to worry Shuuya-kun. Not at all. Don't worry." He sighed and I rubbed his back.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Later that night, I awoke in a cold sweat. Shuuya was sitting up, reading still and taking notes about a few less-important bounty head and still about Josef Izumi. He looked at me and kissed my cheek.

 

"Everything okay enjeru?" he asked quietly.

 

"Yep, I'm okay. I just need a shower." I stood, went into the bathroom and showered quickly, returning to bed. I also picked up a book and put my glasses back on to read. Shuuya yawned.

 

"You should get some sleep darling." I said.

 

"I'm okay. I need to finish these notes and overview the bounty so I can turn in the reports so we can get some money. This," he pointed to the men and women bounty on TV, "is our income." I nodded and began reading. Somewhere in the first paragraph, "...this theory has been tested and proven by many scientists. Thus, the government of Earth has created...” I fell asleep. Well, so much for reading. My dreams were scattered again. When I entered the dreaming state of sleep, I saw many tiny, bright red circles before my eyes. I wasn't sure what it meant, but I wanted to try and find out. The circles drifted father and then closer, speeding around in a spiral near me. I looked over at the spiral of circles and discovered a scene of events within. It looked like it played from past to future. The scene was of me and Shuuya when we were much younger. There were a few other boys and girls in the scene. Quite a few were from Earth and a few from Mars. I remembered this scene. Me, Shuuya and our friends were all on a trip with our fourth year classmates. The teacher, Mr.Kalin was observing a piece of paper hanging on the wall. We were too young to really comprehend what the paper said. It was about politics. We weren't interested anyway. Shuuya and Caiti and Gabe were all talking and playing a game of snails and koi. It was a ridiculous children's game. Practically no one ever won unless they cheated, and it seemed like it would never end. I sat close and watched. My hair was bright red then. As long as I can remember, I've had a crush on Shuuya. Even in the 4th year. He was always the cutest boy in school, to me anyway. Gabe was obviously winning. Gabe enjoyed it, so he cheated. Which was fine by us, we just liked his company because Gabriel was the cutest boy according to ALL of the girls in our grade. He whispered something in Shuuya's ear and they looked over at me. I looked shocked and bolted upright. The next I knew, I was being chased down by Gabe and he was trying to get Shuuya to kiss me. Of course he didn't. The boys chased us because we girls, thought boys were sick and had diseases. Before the scene could finish, the red circles...I guess they were more like orbs...began spiraling faster and then slowed.

 

This scene was of 13th year school. Once again the scene was of me and Shuuya. We were studying after school and he was looking at other girls in the study room. I looked up and he was staring at the most popular girl. Laine Chu. She was pretty, smart and stuffed her bra. Though, the boys couldn't tell. They all thought she naturally had big boobs. She annoyed me, and it hurt me because I really liked Shuuya. He was my crush. I looked back down at the paper wiped my eyes and spoke as calmly as I could. "I'll be right back Shuuya san." he looked shocked and watched me as I walked out the door of the study room. The scene didn't show me when I was in the girl's bathroom crying. Instead it showed what happened after I went into the bathroom. Apparently, Shuuya turned down Laine's date. He knew she was fake. He was reading the sign on the back of her shirt. Something I hadn't noticed. The little paper sign read "KICK ME!". It was one of those little idiot games we played on other children when we were kids. We enjoyed laughing at other people. Something of a child's nature. Once again as soon as my interest was peaked, the orbs spiraled again. This time even more quickly.

 

I saw a house far off in the distance this time. This memory didn't seem like it was mine. And yet, in the memory it was me, walking toward the house. In the dream I was watching myself. As if I was watching a movie. I looked down at the ground and smiled at the grass reaching up to my knees. I also noticed that I was wearing a green dress. The pattern was that of ivy crawling up the sleeves, and a small pattern of ivy at the bottom hem. I looked up and saw the house. It too was covered in ivy; behind it mountains stood tall and rigid like glass cutting through water. I started running toward the little house, smiling the whole time. When I neared the house, I walked inside and kissed whom I think was my husband. Or, so he was sin the dream. He began talking, "Good even' my dearest wife." the man smiled and kissed my cheek. I was shocked. Why did the woman in the dream look like me? Who was the man? The era was not mine. What was going on? As soon as I tried to figure it out, the little orbs began spiraling upward and they started to grow larger. They spiraled even more quickly, enough to make me dizzy if I were actually awake. When they stopped, I was awoken by Shuuya getting out of bed. It was probably mid-morning. I yawned and got under the covers, hiding my face from the morning light that poured into my room from the balcony doors. Shuuya probably didn't notice and continued on to the bathroom. I heard the door close and I got up and put on some jeans and one of Shuuya’s t-shirts.

 

"I think I'll go to Asin." I mumbled to myself and then headed downstairs slowly, grabbing a pair of shoes and brushed my hair while I ate a peach. The water upstairs cut off and I heard Shuuya running around, and then he ran downstairs in nothing but a towel. His hair was soaked and as soon as he was me in the living room, his face went peaceful. I smiled and stood up; kissing Shuuya's lips softly then went out the door with my keys, cell phone and my wallet. He ran out the door after me and grabbed my arm carefully.

 

"Enjeru, where are you going? And why without telling me?" Shuuya sounded worried. I turned around and hugged him, kissing his lips a bit harder for reassurance.

 

"I thought I might go into the city for a little while koibito. I was going to call you when I got there." I smiled. My thoughts raced frantically but I couldn't stop smiling.

 

"Yes, but Yuri, why didn't you tell me? Are you alright? Please...you aren't...leaving me are you? Please enjeru...Yuri...please...don't..." I interrupted Shuuya, I wasn't smiling.

 

"I will never leave you Shuuya. Never. I will always love you." Shuuya tried to speak again, but I put my hand over his lips softly, speaking again, "I love you Shuuya Ankoku. You will never have to worry about that. I won't leave you koibito." I hugged him tightly then kissed his chest and smiled.

 

"But why didn't you tell me Yuri?"

 

"I'm sorry love. I didn't think to remind you."

 

"Oh.... Well, I'm going to get dressed real quick and come with you, okay? Can you wait a second enjeru?" I smiled and nodded and he then realized that he was outside half naked. Shuuya ran inside, keeping his towel closed as I walked in slowly after him. I sat down on the bottom stair and it seemed like as soon as my butt hit the stair, Shuuya was running back down, fully clothed, and hair brushed.

 

I smiled and stood up slowly, kissing Shuuya's lips. He smiled and kissed me back, wrapping his arm around my waist. He grabbed his leather coat and told me to get mine as well. We were going into Asin on his motorcycle. I absolutely love riding it. Shuuya got out his bike and two helmets, handing one to me.

 

As I put on the helmet, Shuuya cranked his motorcycle and I got on behind him while he put his helmet on. When he was ready, I wraped my arms around him. He revved the engine and we sped off to Asin.

 

We didn't talk during the drive, instead studying the scenery. Shuuya took the scenic route...or rather the habitat that our government had created to seem like the past. In the time we lived in, most people took direct routes. Some, like us, still enjoyed the forests and mountains. Rain started coming down in a drizzle, and Shuuya increased the speed. We passed by a small house with a memorial plagued. I had read it before and it was to commemorate the lost soldiers when we fought the four year battle with Mars and won. The people that first went to the colonies were given special pills, thought to control their emotions and give them a set standard of human life quality. It then started a revolt and turned into war. Politicians so strategically named it the "M.R." standing for Mars Revolt. I'm not very fond of the government, but it’s tolerable.

 

We entered Asin at the covered end. Part of Asin is covered by a plastic-like cloth overhand. The rain was at a drizzle still and Shuuya found an open spot to park at one of the cheaper parking lots. He pulled in and paid the girl at the booth and put the holographic card around the handlebar. We parked and took the elevator back down to the lobby and walked out into the street. Shuuya smiled down at me, speaking quietly, "So, what do you wanna do enjeru?"

 

I looped my arm through his and walked close beside him. Shuuya was looking around at all the different shops then he stopped walking completely, causing me to jerk forward a little. Shuuya was staring into the sword shop, and then looked down at me like a little boy that wanted to go into the toy store. I laughed and started walking into the shop with him.

 

As soon as we got into the store, I let go of Shuuya's arm and he immediately went to the katana. I laughed and reached into my pocket and got my wallet out, taking out my credit card. Whatever Shuuya found and liked the most, I'd buy for him. He had done so much for me that I wanted to do something for him in return.

 

I decided to walk around and look at the throwing daggers. I figured I could use a new set; I had just about worn out m other ones from keeping them sharp. As I picked up a silver and wooden bo, the shop keeper walked over to me. The big man stared at me then smiled and winked.

 

"What can I help you with miss?" I smiled back and opened the box glancing at the knives and then closed it again. They were poor quality and not all the same metal. The shop keeper stopped smiling.

 

"Miss, can I help you? You just put down our best box of knives."

 

I smiled again and spoke quietly, "Those knives are our craftsmanship and are cheap metal. The ones at the counter are better, but still not the quality I need. Thank you though." I walked over to Shuuya and he put the sword down. "Find one you like koibito?"

 

Shuuya nodded, "Yep. This one over here. Its handcrafted enjeru. I haven't found a sword like this since I bought the katana back at home.

 

"Oh. Do you want it?" I asked, smiling adoringly at him.

 

"Of course I want it Yuri, but I don't know if I can afford it." He sighed and started walking out the door. I followed him a little way and then ran back in the store.

 

"Where are you going enjeru?"

 

"I forgot my bag." I yelled back. I didn't even bring my purse, but he didn't realize that.

 

I paid the shopkeeper for the sword and paid him to deliver it to our hose in two hours. I guessed we'd be home by then. I walked out of the shop, still without my purse, but I didn’t' think Shuuya would notice. He smiled and looked at my hands.

 

"I thought...you said..." he had a confused look on his face. I smiled and held onto his arm, starting to walk. He walked as well.

 

"I think I left it at home koibito."

Shuuya paused for a second and shook his head, smiling.

 

"You bought the sword for me, didn't you Yumemiru?" he was smiling down at me. I kept a straight face.

 

"No koibito. Damn. I can though. I'm sorry." He wasn't smiling eagerly and the gleam of "getting a new toy" left his eyes. I felt kinda bad for lying to him, but Shuuya would see it when he got home. I knew that he would be pleased.

 

"So, where to next Yuri?"

 

"I don't know koibito. Where do you want to go?"

 

We walked through the little alley ways paved with polished red stone. The overhead cloth that covered part of Asin stopped. We walked through the rain, which was now at a drizzle, holding hands. I looked at the clothing shops, herb and book stores, while Shuuya looked at knife and weapon stores...and food. He stared at the lingerie store, not hiding it from me, but trying not to seem obvious to those who might be looking at him.

 

I led him into the store, which was owned by a full blood Asiar female. Asiar females are pale-skinned, almost the color of ivory or pearls. Their eyes are pale as well, normally sea green, blue or grey and occasionally deep gold. They tend to wear the clothes of their culture, a loose fitting cotton oro linen dress that hangs off the shoulder. Their hair is light colored as well, though this woman dyed hers.

 

"Welcome. How may I help you ma'am?" The Asiar woman smiled.

 

"Oh, we're just looking. Thank you though." I smiled and led Shuuya to the back of the store. He broke away and picked up the skimpiest pair of underwear he could find and grinned widely. I laughed and took them from him. There was hardly any fabric to them, but I held onto them. "If that's what he really wants..." I thought to myself.

 

"C'mon Yuri. Please wear 'em. For me?" Shuuya looked at me with puppy dog eyes, but the most mischievous grin I've ever seen.

 

"Okay, fine. But this is your only choice. The rest is up to me."

 

That left a frown on his face, I couldn't help but laugh. He is so cute when he's frustrated. We walked around the store for a few more minutes then checked out at the counter. Shuuya was grinning when he saw the Asiar woman ring up the skimpy panties. I took the bag from the woman and walked out of the store. Shuuya took the bag out of my hand and smiled. "I got it enjeru."

 

I held Shuuya's other hand as we continued to walk around Asin. It is a splendid city, the uptown, rich areas are paved with polished red stone and the downtown area is paved with small white stones that sort of glimmer in the sunlight. All of Asin is kept clean, but my favorite area is uptown.

 

Shuuya and I walked back toward where he parked his motorcycle. He stuffed the bag into the seat and got on. I sat behind him, once again wrapping my arms around his waist and snuggling close. He cranked up the bike and we sped off back home.